It's Not Going to Suck Itself

TOG got a letter from LTC, which he scanned and sent to me to read and explain. The letter says the claim is being evaluated and so far the carrier has determined that the place TOG lives is “an eligible Residential Care facility” as regulated and certified by the state and thus he’s allowed to live there. Our second choice of residential care facility - beneath the highway underpass - is probably not certified, which means the company wouldn’t pay benefits if he lived there. Which is just as well because mail delivery to that address is problematic.

But then the letter takes and ominous inscrutable turn: “Please also be aware that your policy may not provide facility benefits if you reside in an independent living bed within a facility. If we determine that you reside in an independent living bed, we will separately communicate what, if any, policy benefits may be payable.”

TOG’s bed is a hospital bed he got for his mother and it does go up and down but you need to press a button to lift or lower the head or foot. In other words, much like it's occupant, it doesn't move by itself. It doesn’t have a massage function either, so arguably it has no pulse. Thus, strictly speaking, his bed is neither independent nor living. So that is good, right? Somebody is going to have to find out what that means. Let's see how that goes. 

ME:  Now I’m getting worried that Genworth won’t pay rent but only services because your bed isn’t living independently.

TOG:  I must admit. I wouldn’t be surprised. But there still might be other things to do.

WISIMH:  Notice the passive voice here. Those things apparently will eventually do themselves.

ME:  Yeah. Like call MR (the insurance agent) and ask her.

WISIMH: Sometimes, I’m so hilarious, I crack myself up. Like he'd take a hint.

TOG:  Or R&P (the elder law attorney)

WISIMH:  I must admit. He can dish out hints while dodging them like The One in Matrix dodges bullets. He’s also a master at suggesting yet more things that might yet do themselves.

ME:  Let’s think about this for a minute R&P charge >$300 per hour and a call to MR is free.
WISIMH:  'Nother swing and a miss. Hint not taken.

TOG:  But that’s all down the road… no need planning NOW

ME:  Actually, the definition of planning is to figure out what to do before events overtake you… Why do I feel like I’m on my own here?  Oh yeah… Because if anything is going to be done it will be done by me.

TOG:  (Crickets)

WISIMH:  (Double face-palm) Lamentable, dreadful, hopeless, unsurprising, typical.

ME:  I am surrounded by people incapable of planning. I am very uncomfortable without a plan. My problem. Which I will solve by myself. Resenting those who failure to plan causes me more work and stress is an unfortunate side effect. 

WISIMH: Notice the general rather than specific claims set forth above. Let it never be said I specified who was incapable of planning and/or causing me stress. My life these days is like a popsicle: it’s not going to suck itself.