Fear for Lunch

"Of the world as it exists, it is not possible to be enough afraid."

 - Theodor Adorno

I just got a call from Nicole. I had to ask if she was a real person. This surprised her because it turns out she was a real person.

Nicole: Hi this is Nicole, how are you today?

Me:  Hi, Nicole, are you a real person?

Nicole:  (So surprised her bored voice that would easily be taken as a disembodied robo-call reverts to a real voice) What?  No! I mean, yes, I’m a real person. We must have a bad connection.

Me:  Apologies…

WISIMH:  … not really…

Me:  I usually only get robo calls on my home phone.

WISIMH:  Like the one I got just now saying it was Agent Johnson of the IRS and I should immediately call her back on some urgent matter that would involve me giving a total stranger my social security number and continuing to drone on while I interrupted to tell Agent Johnson I was so glad she called because her mom just called me because she can’t reach Agent Johnson whose phone is always busy and going on to say (while Agent Johnson continued to explain the urgency of her call) that AJ should call her mom back urgently because mom needed to tell her that she’s suffering dreadfully from end-stage syphilis and Agent J should come home and get tested because one of the early symptoms is that you keep talking while someone else is talking.

Nicole:  So, we’re going to be in your area and we’re giving away – completely free – home alarm systems, and also, again completely free, wireless phone systems to replace you home phone landline because thieves are cutting phone lines and stranding…

Me:  Aha!  Finally. Something new to fear. Nicole, let me stop you there. I already have plenty of other things to be afraid of. Buh-bye.

What I continued to say aloud after hanging up: So, Nicole. I’m not worrying about thieves cutting the line we’re talking on because, and get this Nicole, I already had my phone lines cut: by AT&T when they replaced my previous landline with a wireless system. 

And plus, Nicole, I’m already afraid of dogs, Dutchman, and the gathering darkness. Full plate here.

Picture credit:Hoogspanning!: More Dutch Safety Posters